


Bluebird

by rjwritergirl



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 14:16:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rjwritergirl/pseuds/rjwritergirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How does a broken heart get put back together when it's been torn apart? Spoilers for season 4 episode 3! AU after the 2nd chapter! Trigger warning!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bluebird

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi-chapter Downton work, This is rated M for a few chapters, but for the most part, it's pretty tame.

Anna walked home, tears streaming down her face. She could still see the hurt look on her husband's face as she stepped away from him.  _You should have stood there; he knows something's up,_ her conscience berated her.

She took in a sobbing breath and wiped her tears. She could see the cottage up ahead and she sped up, almost home. Feeling suddenly ill, she stumbled over to one of their neighbors and retched in their front garden. Shaking, she wiped her mouth and resisted the desire to suddenly sink to the ground and sob again. She stood and walked the next three cottages to hers and John's.

She opened the door, halting as she saw shadows dance against the wall. Had Green found her? No, she assured herself. Shaking, she carefully walked into the main room and to the table where they kept the oil lamp. She managed to get it lit and then scanned the corners of the room. It was only a chair and the curtains. She set the lamp on the table and left it lit. Ignoring the dishes that hadn't been washed that morning, she moved to take a bath. She felt dirty, maybe a good scrub would make it all go away.

She knew about how long it would take for John to come back from the main house, so she worked quickly to bathe before he'd get home. Her back ached and she wished she could take a warm bath to help the ease the aches and pains.

She moved quickly, not wanting to touch herself, Green had done enough of that. She could see bruises forming and she tried to come up with an excuse so John wouldn't see them. He'd never force himself upon her, so she didn't have to worry about him seeing them that way. She'd just get up early and get ready before John -she was thankful that he was usually slow to wake. She'd just get up before him tomorrow - and every day - until the bruises disappeared. But John was bound to want to make love, it had been a few days and since he'd yelled at her earlier, he'd apologize. They always made love after a fight. She had loved making up with John.

Had loved.

She felt ill again and she closed her eyes and leaned over the washbasin praying she wouldn't retch once more. The last thing she needed was to clean something else up tonight. The nausea subsided and she finished scrubbing herself, tears still streaming down her face.

How could Green have done this to her? She'd never acted the least bit interested in him, had she? Had she brought this on? She was desperately in love with John, he was everything to her. But she couldn't help but wonder if she had said something about John to make it seem like she wasn't happy with him?

She shuddered and tried not to think of it, it was best to just ignore it, it would go away.

The rag she'd used was lightly tinged with red as she'd been wiping blood and she scrubbed it trying to make sure the stains didn't set in. It didn't seem to work very well, and she finally wrung it out and tossed it in the trash. She didn't want it in the house, the sooner she could get it out the better.

She pulled on her nightgown and looked at herself in the mirror.  _No_ , she mentally decided.  _Much too revealing_. She dug through her drawers, pulled out her winter nightgown and quickly changed. She needed protection tonight, and this nightgown was difficult to get off. She wanted to believe that John wouldn't force himself on her, but she needed the added knowledge that he'd have to struggle if for some reason he got it into his head that they needed to make up.

Her body ached - emotionally and physically - and she prayed silently that she'd be less stiff in the morning. She went to the washroom and pulled out their first aide kit, she'd already taken a pain reliever, but she needed another one. She took it and then made sure everything was cleaned up before slipping into bed. She could faintly hear John coming in downstairs and quickly turned the light off and closed her eyes. She knew John was a creature of habit, it would be another twenty minutes until he would come up to bed, and with any luck she could be relaxed enough to fake sleep. Maybe she'd wake up tomorrow and this would all be some horrible nightmare. She couldn't stop shaking though and she willed herself to stop. She had to stop otherwise John would know something was up.

"Anna?"

John spoke softly from the doorway. She ignored it and faked sleep. It had been nearly an hour since she'd left the main house, maybe he'd believe that she was tired and had fallen asleep quickly.

"Anna, love?" She could hear John moving around the room and she forced herself to breathe deeply as John got ready for bed. She could feel him watching her. He stepped closer to her. She froze. Even her breathing came to a halt as he stared at her for another few moments before moving to the hall. She relaxed and berated herself for it, it was just John. He'd never hurt her.

She jerked when she felt something being laid on her, shooting into a sitting position, memories of Green coming back. It took her a moment to realize John was just covering her with an extra blanket they kept downstairs. "I noticed you're wearing your winter nightgown and you're shivering," John's voice was soft. "I wanted to make sure you were warm; I'll get some coal and light the fire so you can get warm."

"Thank you, John, but the extra blanket is enough." Anna said, she laid back down and got comfortable.

John leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, for a moment she froze.

_You know you want this, Mrs. Bates, I'll show you a real man._ Green's voice suddenly came back and she pulled back from her husband. "I'm really tired John," she turned away from him. "Thank you for the extra blanket."

She could tell that John was still standing by her side of the bed, but he slowly moved and finished getting ready for bed. The mattress moved as he slipped in between the covers. "I love you, Anna," John whispered.

A tear leaked out as she heard him. She loved him too, she just couldn't stand to be touched right now. Not after Green, not after earlier.

_I'll show you a good time, much better then that sad old cripple._

_Is this the way you like it?_

_Tell me you like it._

_I know you want this._

**Author's Note:**

> Please review!


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